HELP HELP <GO>

You pressed HELP twice. Nobody is coming.

Our support desk is staffed around the clock by one analyst asleep in a sleep world. Below: the function keys, how to request a terminal, and the part where we admit none of this is real.

CMDS <GO>

Function keys

MKT <GO>

Market overview

Players online, mirror occupancy and the T-pose volatility index.

Open

NEWS <GO>

Sustainability

Lakes per rave, measured to two decimal places of nonsense.

Open

GRASS <GO>

Touch grass

Not implemented. Has never been implemented. The key is there for morale.

SLEEP <GO>

Sleep in VR

Dims the screen and sets your status to 'AFK, still counted in Players Online'.

HUG <GO>

Market hug

Executes one hug at the prevailing headpat rate. Slippage may occur near tails.

BILL <GO>

Subscription

Line item	Monthly
Terminal licence	$0.00
Second monitor you will never look at	$0.00
Keyboard with a <GO> key The only key that matters.	$0.00
Real-time data feed Real time was 13 October 2026. It was a real time.	$0.00
Total due	$0.00

DISC <GO>

Not financial advice. Not financial anything.

VRTERM is a parody. No security, index, commodity, currency, world, lake or fish on this site exists, nothing here is financial advice, and no button places a trade. Every figure, ticker, headline, analyst and quotation is invented, and the data was hard-coded on 13 October 2026 and will never change.

This site is not affiliated with, endorsed by or connected to any financial data company, exchange, VR platform or datacenter operator. All artwork was drawn for this site. The views expressed here are not necessarily supported or condoned by VRCooperative.